Today, I want to share one of my most special St. Joseph prayers. It’s a 30 day novena (meaning a prayer that you say each day for 30 days) that I usually say in March, since March 19th is his feast day. Every time I’ve said it, I’ve experienced remarkable and life-changing things (this year was DEFINITELY no exception, and I’ll tell you more about why in a few weeks!). This year, in recognition of St. Joseph the worker, I am doing this novena again. This prayer is known as an “unfailing prayer”–meaning that as long as you pray it faithfully and trust in it, you will be heard in a special way.

I hope that you will join me, and look forward to hearing from you when your prayers are answered. But enough talk. Here it is!:

Ever blessed and glorious Joseph, kind and loving father, and helpful friend of all in sorrow!  You are the good father and protector of orphans, the defender of the defenseless, the patron of those in need and sorrow.  Look kindly on my request.  My sins have drawn down on me the just displeasure of my God, and so I am surrounded with unhappiness.  To you, loving guardian of the Family of Nazareth, do I go for help and protection.

Listen, then, I beg you, with fatherly concern, to my earnest prayers, and obtain for me the favors I ask.

I ask it by the infinite mercy of the eternal Son of God, which moved Him to take our nature and to be born into this world of sorrow.

I ask it by the weariness and suffering you endured when you found no shelter at the inn of Bethlehem for the holy Virgin, nor a house where the Son of God could be born.   Then, being everywhere refused, you had to allow the Queen of Heaven to give birth to the world’s Redeemer in a cave.

I ask it by that painful torture you felt at the prophecy of holy Simeon, which declared the Child Jesus and His holy Mother future victims of our sins and of their great love for us.

I ask it through your sorrow and pain of soul when the angel declared to you that the life of the Child Jesus was sought by His enemies.  From their evil plan you had to flee with Him and His Blessed Mother to Egypt.  I ask it by all the suffering, weariness, and labors of that long and dangerous journey.

I ask it by all your care to protect the Sacred Child and His Immaculate Mother during your second journey, when you were ordered to return to your own country.  I ask it by your peaceful life in Nazareth where you met with so many joys and sorrows.

I ask it by your great distress when the adorable Child was lost to you and His Mother for three days.  I ask it by your joy at finding Him in the Temple, and by the comfort you found at Nazareth, while living in the company of the Child Jesus.  I ask it by the wonderful submission He showed in His obedience to you.

I ask it by the perfect love and conformity you showed in accepting the Divine order to depart from this life, and from the company of Jesus and Mary.  I ask it by the joy which filled your soul, when the Redeemer of the world, triumphant over death and hell, entered into the possession of His kingdom and led you into it with special honors.

I ask it through Mary’s glorious Assumption, and through that endless happiness you have with her in the presence of God.

O good father!  I beg you, by all your sufferings, sorrows, and joys, to hear me and obtain for me what I ask.

(make your request)

Obtain for all those who have asked my prayers everything that is useful to them in the plan of God.  Finally, my dear patron and father, be with me and all who are dear to me in our last moments, that we may eternally sing the praises of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

The last time I tried to ski was on an 8th grade class trip. That day, as I went haphazardly careening down our little North Dakota ski hill, I saw my history teacher laugh for the first–and only–time (Yes, I was that good!). Since then, I just figured skiing was one of the many things I was not cut out to do. I never played sports or did many physical things when I was younger, because I never thought I’d ever be good at them.

Last week, I went skiing simply because it’s something my husband loves to do. I expected that I might not have very much fun, but I vowed to give it an honest chance.

How did I do?

I will admit that on my first trip down the mountain, I fell several times (and I usually rolled several times after each fall!). After one of my last falls, I immediately got up and said two big words that wouldn’t really be appropriate to repeat here. And then, I shook myself off and kept going. I knew that getting frustrated and doubting my abilities would do nothing but make the day even harder for me. Not only would I not get any better at skiing, but I also would be miserable. So I pushed out all of the negative thoughts and did my best to concentrate on what I was doing, without thinking too much about it. I was determined to do my best and try to have fun, no matter how difficult that mountain was for me.

And you know what? Even though there was definitely a learning curve, both my husband and I were pleasantly surprised at the progress I made that day. I destroyed any doubt I used to have at my own abilities–because even though I by no means am ready for the Winter Olympics (and even though I still could get creamed in a race against some of the 8-year-old skiiers I saw that day), I proved to myself that I am capable of doing anything I set my mind to.

The same is true for you. The key is not letting any negative thoughts–yours or anyone else’s–get in the way of your success. Even though anything worth doing is usually hard, it is possible as long as you learn to become your own best ally. Don’t stand in your own way!

Over the next few days I’ll be doing some final proofreading on my manuscript; this is after having an amazing team of people assist me over the past couple of months, with both editing advice and feedback on the book’s content. I can honestly say that I feel great about what this project has turned into over time.

I want to sincerely thank every person who has helped me on this journey so far, from the very first contributors who took time to answer my “few” questions, to each person who has ever said an encouraging word about the work I am trying to do. I also want to thank those of you who read and follow my blog. It truly is because of all of you that I’ve been able to keep at this for six years.

Rest assured that I’ll keep you updated on the publishing process as everything unfolds. Thank you for sharing this wonderful journey with me!

Love, Hope, and Prayers,

Justine

Right now, get out a piece of paper, and make a list of the top three people in your life who make you smile. These are people who are always there with an encouraging word, and who help you see the brighter side of things when you have a bad day. They love you for you. They don’t judge you.

When you’ve made your list, commit to spending some time with at least one of the people on it every single day–or at least talking to them on the phone for a few minutes. Positive relationships are probably the most important key to a fulfilled life.

Now, think about some people in your life who drain you of your energy. You don’t have to write down their names, but think about what it is they do that brings you down: Do they refuse to validate some of your feelings? Are they often negative? Do they try to convince you to do things you don’t want to do, or that are unhealthy for you?

It would be impossible to completely stop spending time with all people who grate on you a little bit; after all, you might work with them, live next to them, or even be related to them! But make it a point to replace some of your time with the people who drain you with time spent with the people on your list above. I guarantee that this one simple change will have some amazing results!

Related articles

• How I’m applying “Upcycle” principles in my own life (upcycleyou.com)
• The Simple Trick(s) to Making Friends… (upcycleyou.com)

The simplest–and most effective–trick that I’ve learned in making friends has been to act a little more confident. Smile. Pretend you feel good about yourself, even if you don’t right away. Once you start pretending, you start feeling it, too. When a negative thought goes through your head that people don’t want to talk to you, remind yourself that you’re  a wonderful person with some pretty darn good things to say. If you don’t like the way you look and that’s what’s making you feel uncomfortable, go out and find some clothes you like for goodness sakes! I don’t care what you look like–there are clothes out there that will look amazing on you as long as you just try on a few things (Ask a fashion-savvy friend or family member to help you if you’re unsure). The biggest thing is to find things that make you feel comfortable, too.

Don’t be afraid to approach people and start up a conversation. Write up a list of conversation starters if you need to, like asking people what their thoughts are on the latest news headlines, what they’re looking most forward to doing next weekend, or what the best thing was that they ate for Thanksgiving dinner. The big thing is to UPCYCLE any of the negative thoughts that might start running through your mind. When you start to think something like, “They’re not smiling because they don’t like me,” upcycle your thoughts to something like, “They might have just had a bad morning” or “I don’t know them that well so I have no idea what they’re thinking.” Give yourself and the other person a chance to get to know one another other a little bit. People don’t often become best friends overnight.

If you find you’re still having trouble connecting with people, don’t sweat it. Some people just aren’t very nice or don’t have much in common with you. The big thing is to remember that you DESERVE to be treated well. No matter what anyone else says or does, you owe it to yourself to stay confident and try your best to have a positive attitude. If you really are having a tough time connecting with certain people at work or school, don’t give up because there are probably other people there that you haven’t had the chance to visit with very much yet. However, don’t limit your friend-finding to just work or school. The key is to get involved in things: Volunteer at your church, take some yoga classes at your local gym, or join a community organization. Find groups related to what you’re really interested in, and I bet it will only be a matter of time until you find some worthwhile people to spend your time with!

Now, my question for you: What are your tips for making new friends?

Related articles

• Upcycle You: The New Life with Cheeseburgers! (upcycleyou.com)
• Upcycle Project: Make Over Your Thoughts (upcycleyou.com)
• How I’m applying “Upcycle” principles in my own life (upcycleyou.com)

So how do you start? Today, pay attention to what your thoughts are throughout the day. Is there something negative you find yourself continually thinking? For example: “Nobody at work likes me,” “My life is going nowhere,” or “I hate my body.”

Once you’ve recognized at least one repeated negative thought, reframe it into something more positive, like “People at work will like me as long as I start developing a little more confidence in myself and start striking up a conversation with them every once in awhile.” Start seeing opportunities for positive change, rather than staying stuck in the same old negative patterns.

Whoa–that’s easier said than done, isn’t it?

Don’t worry–in the coming weeks, I’ll be featuring not only positive ways to counter some of your specific negative beliefs about yourself and your life, but also concrete steps you can take to start meeting your goals and creating a more productive, satisfying life.

Next week we’ll start tackling the first negative thought mentioned above: “Nobody at work/school/etc. likes me.”

I can’t wait to get started–let’s get “upcycling!”

Make the commitment to take at least five minutes to really check in and connect with your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, mom, dad, sibling, or friend. Take turns asking each other these three questions:

1. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

2. What’s something you wish would have happened differently?

3. What are your hopes (or goals) for tomorrow?

You can  ask these questions while playing a quick game of UNO at the end of the day like I sometimes do with my husband, or by taking five minutes at the end of a meal. The key is to just keep consistently doing it. You might be surprised at what you learn about each other’s days that you wouldn’t otherwise have known!

What’s your favorite way to connect with your loved one? I’d love to hear all about it in the “Comments” section below!

Why the stress? You may know that my husband and I moved across the country and away from our families just a few months ago. My husband has a lot of stress because he’s in medical school now and has to learn a crazy amount in just a short period of time. I have stress because not only have I never lived farther than 90 miles away from my family before, but my husband and I don’t have the kind of time together that we used to have, either. He has to spend long days and weekends studying. To be honest, I really miss having time with my husband. But we have both learned to use some of the “Upcycle You” principles, by recognizing what we can do to improve our situation, instead of dwelling on the things that we don’t like and can’t change.

How?

We talk to each other constantly about what we can do to keep our relationship strong, like making time to see each other EVERY day, even if just for a quick half hour lunch or dinner break. We also make it a point to frequently tell each other how much we care about each other and value our relationship. So even though our time is limited, the time that we do have together is very good.

I also use the whole upcycling idea in my life away from my husband, too. He is pursuing his own dreams of becoming a physician, and so it’s important for me to focus on what I want to do with my life as well. I have started doing a little bit of life coaching, and am starting a girls’ self-help group at a local high school. I’m getting really close to finishing my eating disorder recovery book and thinking about future projects I’d like to do.

I’ve also had to make a big effort to reach out to other people to form strong, supportive connections with that will keep me going through our time here. All of this definitely takes time, but it’s essential for my well-being in the long-term. Even though our situation will likely continue to be a little stressful for both of us for quite awhile, it’s our relationships (with each other and with new friends) and our positive focus on our life goals that will keep us grounded throughout everything.

In upcoming posts I’ll share more ideas with you on how you can begin “upcycling” your life and relationships. Next on my own list? Definitely getting more sleep so I can finally kick this bug!

Keep in touch, and keep it real!

Justine

However, I don’t think you should EVER just sit and “wait” for something to happen, either. Hence the concept of “Proactive Patience”: You have to do everything you possibly can to make something work–everything that’s within your control–and then, when you’re done doing that, you have to have faith that everything will work out the way it should.

I was reminded of this concept when I made cookies the other day. I found a recipe that promised the “best” chocolate chip cookies (because the recipe was actually called “Best Chocolate Chip Cookies“). I followed the recipe to a tee, as you usually need to do if you want really good cookies. While they were in the oven, I read a review that suggested you leave the cookies on the hot cookie sheets for about 10 minutes after you take them out, so they can set up properly. As a non-patient person, I knew this would be a test for me.

I had divided the recipe in half, so I ended up with two cookie sheets full of cookies. After I took the first pan out, it bothered me that the cookies still seemed pretty doughy, but I put the second pan in and made myself leave the first alone. Sure enough, by the time the second pan was finished baking, the first cookies had set up perfectly. I mean perfectly.

That still didn’t stop me from picking at the second pan of cookies as I tried to analyze (and over-analyze) whether or not they would set up as beautifully as the first. I had to leave for a meeting soon, and the more and more I poked at the second pan of cookies, the more their doughiness began to annoy me. I hated the idea of leaving without really knowing how the cookies were going to turn out (I know–a little silly). Finally, I put them back into the turned-off oven and left, knowing that by the time I returned, they should definitely be baked all the way through!

They absolutely were completely baked by the time I got back–to the point where they now need a long dunking in milk in order to get soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth. Even though the first cookies were perfect, it was because I couldn’t just leave the second cookies alone that they ended up turning into the less-than-delectable snacks that they are now.

This lesson applies to not only baking, but also your life. When you create a plan (recipe) for yourself, follow it as best you can. Then, once you’ve completed all those steps, be patient in the process. Have faith that it will work out as long as you’ve done everything you needed to do along the way. If you try to control every little thing that happens, it almost certainly won’t turn out the way you’d like. I believe that God has a plan for all of us, and part of the beauty of life is seeing how it unfolds in ways that we could never try to control!

Keep in touch, and keep it real!

Justine

Start paying attention to what you’re thinking throughout the day. The next time you notice something negative going through your head, upcycle that thought: Change it into something more positive, and then add two more positive statements! Repeat those positive statements every time you start to think something negative throughout the rest of the day.

 
Here’s an example: You’re late for work, and as you’re driving you get cut off by another vehicle. You become irritated and start to think about how you’re going to be even later thanks to “all the stupid drivers.” The more you think about those other drivers, the more you notice yourself becoming more agitated. By the time you get to work, you’re in a pretty foul mood. Coworkers comment that you don’t look like you’re having a very good day–which annoys you further. You continue to feel tense the whole morning, which seems to drag on even more than normal as you work.

Here’s what you could do INSTEAD:

When you get cut off, before you get (too) mad at other drivers, upcycle your thoughts by reminding yourself that it’s because YOU’RE driving well and paying attention to what you’re doing that you avoided getting into an accident (woo hoo!). Then, add two more positive thoughts: Think about how happy you are to have a job to go to, and how excited you are for the date you’re going to have (with your spouse, significant other, friend, etc.) later on this week.

Repeat those thoughts throughout the day, especially when your “inner pessimist” starts to come out.

Feel free to sprinkle in more positive thoughts as necessary.

Commit to doing this every day for at least a week–and preferably, forever. In time, you’ll be amazed at your new outlook!

Stay tuned for the next Upcycle You project!

Justine